Tahoe Rim 50 2012

     I came very near to downgrading this race to a 50k just a few weeks before the race. I simply had not been traing for a 50 miler. I have had a few 4 mile runs during the week. and a couple of twenty mile runs a month for the past four months. But I figured I could just do it. I have ran three fifties before, how hard could it be?
     Actually I new it would be hard. 7,000 - 9,000 feet in elevation meant very little oxygen, and I knew that the mountains would be tough, but I wanted to go for it. My plan was just go out slow and just finish. The first 12 miles from the start to Tunnel Creek aid station were awesome. I felt good (duh!) and over confident. "I can bag this. This isnt so hard." I said to myself. I had some good conversations at the start and I was taking pictures of the race and having a good time. Then came the infamous Red House loop. This is where you descend from 8,000 feet to 6,800 feet almost instantly, do a loop and then climb back up. I was grinding my quads on the way down just to keep from loosing control. The climb back up was sucking the life out of me and very slow. When I limped into the the Tunnel Creek aid station for a second time, it hit me, this is going to be tough. 4 hours and 53 minutes have passed and I had 33 miles to go.
     Then I had a long 8 mile climb to the top of Diamond Peak at 8,755 feet. I was at mile 25 with 7 hours past. "Wow this is slow, but at least I had I had down hill to look forwad to." I said to myself,  "Maybe I can make up some time." Then began the four mile descent to Diamon Peak lodge. It seemed like an eternity. I had to take walking breaks just to let my legs rest from the pounding of running down hill for so long. I finally made it to the lodge, the mile 30 mark with 8 hours and 13 minutes past.
     I ate what I could at the aid station and got ready to make a 2,000 foot climb in 2 miles. Basically it was the bottom of Diamond Peak ski resort to its highest point. This is where things really began to turn dark for me. The slope was so incredibly steep, and at 8,000 feet of elevation, it was like breathing out of a paper bag. I basicaly took 7 steps and stopped, hunched over with my hands on my knees, gasped for air and then repeated. Just when I thought I made it to the top, the climb continued. It took me an hour and 15 minutes to reach the top. 9.5 hours passed and I had 18 miles to go. The problem now was I was in so much pain that every step felt like knives on my legs and feet. I figured at my current pace, I had six hous to go. The though of enduring so much pain for another six hours was unimagineable. "This is stupid, I thought." I texted my wife that I didnt think I could continue, and I sent another text to my friend Clifton and said, "My legs are toast. I am a quitter".
     Minutes later a runner named Karen who I had seen several times came by to ask how I was doing. I said I was done. I couldnt take this any longer. She urged me not to quit and to just keep walking. She said I would hate myself if I quit. It was the truth but I didnt want to hear it. I repeated to myself, "I' done"  as I felt the knives continue to thrust into my legs. "There is no way I am going to do this."
     I stumbled into the Tunnel Creek aid station for the third time. I looked at the table with the important looking people with walkie talkies. "Can I help you?" they asked. "Um, I think I want to quit." My voice began to crack with emotion. Now I am not an emotional person at all, but there is something about working so hard, being so exhausted and then quitting, that puts you into this raw state.
"Come over hear and sit down in the tent" Jen one of the captains says to me. "Are you injuered? Whats going on?" I felt a little stupid. "No I said, I just havnt been training enough, and I can't imagine climbing two more peaks." I was starting to loose it emotionally. Then she tells me that this 7 year old boy who was helping out at the aid station has Lukemia.
After sitting there for another five minutes. I got up. "Ok I better eat something, I said." I downed two Ensures, a five hour energy drink (Not bad aid station provisions), potatoes, chips, coke. I decided to continue.
     I started passing a few people and I caught up to Karen who had urged me not to quit earlier. She was having a rough day too so we decided to hobble the last 15 or so miles back together. It was a rough 5 hours but we did it. After 15 hours and 30 minutes, I finished.